Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Bishop continues to deny claims of drunkenness

Sticking firmly to the not-quite-an-adage that if you say something enough times then it will be so, the Bishop of Southwark, Tom Butler, continues to deny stoutly allegations that he went to a party and drank an unholy amount. He also commits every philosophy lecturer's most frowned upon sin, begging the question. That is to say he uses as his premise that which he is trying to prove. Or, more simply, the Bishop of Southwark couldn't have been in a rip-roaring state of celestial saturnalia because, er, he's the Bishop of Southwark.

Bishop Butler told
John Humphrys on this morning's Today programme that he didn't:

"get drunk frequently. I would not be able to do my job if I got drunk. I certainly don't think it's a resigning matter."

Que? Is it just me or does he change his position three times in three sentences? Is the statement above not the verbal representation of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back homeward stumble of a boozed-up soak?

If we assume he's heading into sentence one defiantly refuting all allegations of his involvement in any kind of Bacchanalia, he then changes his hymn to concede that he does get drunk but not frequently. But then he staggers zig-zagging into sentence two where he pulls a volte face and says in indignant fashion (maybe banging his fist on the table or pointing at his interlocutor threateningly) that he wouldn't be able to do his job if he'd had one-too-many cherrys. But then after falling face down in a pile of bin bags he gets up, spins around and heads off back in the direction he's just come from. "I shhhertainly don't fffink itsscchh a res.. hic... resign... hic... meshigning ratter."


At 2:07 am , Blogger Nightowl said...

"I'm the Bishop of Southwark,it's what I do" fantastic line, almostmakes me want to go to church on Sundays.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home